Lorelai's Journal
by ggobsessed
Summary: This is Lorelai's Journal when she was 16
1. September-January

Summary: This is about the days leading up to when Rory was born. It  
  
is a journal that Lorelai writes about her thoughts on life and the  
  
pending arrival of her child. This is only part one. I am finishing  
  
part two.  
  
Part 1  
  
September 17, 1983  
  
I thought today would be a good day to start this journal that my  
  
grandma Lorelai gave to me. I know this great guy, his name is  
  
Christopher Hayden. I think dad likes him, but mom was a little apprehensive. She and dad want the best for me, but I often make them mad, so it's hard for them to trust me.  
  
October 8, 1983  
  
Today is Chris's 16th birthday. We had a real great time tonight!  
  
Even though it was his birthday, he took me out for supper. I think  
  
my parents are beginning to not trust Chris and myself. They feel  
  
we are out to often, Whatever! We just love each other. They will  
  
have to deal with that fact.  
  
October 31, 1983  
  
Tonight there is this really great Halloween Party that my parents  
  
won't let me go to. Even though they said I couldn't go, I plan on  
  
having Chris pick me up around 11:30 after they go to bed. See if I  
  
care what they think! Chris and I are always together, and will  
  
always be together. I'm sure we won't get caught. If I do, I'll just  
  
sneak out again anyways.  
  
November 23, 1983  
  
Today is my parents' anniversary. I actually have to stay home  
  
tonight. They actually let me invite Chris. I was so happy, I almost  
  
cried! Anyway, this should be quite a nice evening. Chris and I might  
  
even go out after the big dinner. We really enjoy being together.  
  
If I haven't mentioned that enough in this journal!  
  
December 15, 1983  
  
Tonight is my parents' big Christmas Party for their friends. Chris  
  
was going to go, but he had his own party to attend. That means  
  
this night won't be much fun. I wish he had asked me to go to  
  
his party. Oh how much I love hanging out with all my father's  
  
insurance buddies.  
  
  
  
December 25, 1983  
  
WooHoo! Christmas at the Gilmore house! Even grandma Lorelai came! I  
  
actually went out to see Chris last night! It was great. I think his  
  
parents actually like me! They ask me over for supper a lot. My  
  
parents don't really like him too much any more. It bums me out.  
  
December 31, 1983  
  
Chris and I are going to this great New Year's Eve Party! All of his  
  
friends are throwing it. This should be fun! No adults! I'm actually  
  
surprised my parents are letting me go! That's crazy! They never let  
  
me go to parties, especially with Chris! They must be sick or  
  
something.  
  
January 1, 1984  
  
Wow!!! Last night was amazing. That is all I am going to write!!!  
  
January 11, 1984  
  
Chris and I are supposed to be going out tonight. I'm not sure if I  
  
will, though, I have a terrible stomachache! It must have been that  
  
weird food mom made me eat for dinner or something. I feel horrible!  
  
Chris came over anyway! What a sweet guy!  
  
January 26, 1984, 10:20 am.  
  
This absolutely cannot be! I'm a week late. I'm usually never late! I  
  
better have Chris take me to the doctor! I don't know what I would do  
  
if I was, ya know, pregnant! I don't even like writing that word.  
  
What would my parents think? 


	2. End of January-June

End-January-June  
  
January 26, 1984, 6:15 pm.  
  
  
  
The doctor called my house ate 6:00 with the results! The test was  
  
positive. What am I going to do now? My parents didn't trust me  
  
anyway. What are they going to think? How am I going to tell Chris?  
  
This can't be happening to me! I won't be able to tell them. I swear,  
  
they'll disown me!  
  
  
  
February 27, 1984  
  
  
  
All hell broke loose at the house of Richard and Emily Gilmore today.  
  
Today was the day I told them that I was pregnant. Richard just  
  
stared, and Emily, well, she fainted! They told me that I had to  
  
raise the baby to suffer my mistake. I already love this baby. Oh  
  
yeah, Chris moved to California. I've been depressed, and I know it's  
  
not good for me. I knew he'd get scared and run away. I wasn't even  
  
going to ask him for anything.  
  
  
  
  
  
March 16, 1984  
  
  
  
They haven't told anyone yet. I don't know when they ever will. I  
  
don't think they even want me in their house anymore. I should just  
  
leave. But, I can't. It would be better for the baby if I stayed here  
  
at least until he/she is born. For the sake of the baby, that is.  
  
  
  
March 29, 1984  
  
  
  
Mom actually took me to the doctor today. I can't believe she wanted  
  
to be seen at a Teen Pregnancy Clinic. How odd she must have felt.  
  
The doctor told me that the baby was due around September 29, 1984. I  
  
will probably start looking for a job and an apartment in August.  
  
There is no way I am raising my child the same way that my parents  
  
raised me. NO WAY!!!!  
  
  
  
April 11, 1984  
  
  
  
I called Chris's parents today, they were very shocked. I actually  
  
called them to see if they knew where Chris was. They did. I called  
  
him. He said he denies the baby, and that I must have cheated on him  
  
with his friend, Jake.  
  
  
  
April 30, 1984  
  
  
  
I have been making a list of baby names. For a girl, not to be  
  
selfish or anything, I like Lorelai. I also like Allison and Madelyn.  
  
For a boy I have chosen David, Michael, and Matthew. I have no idea  
  
about middle names. I really hate living in this house. My mom is too  
  
selfish to tell anyone about me. I swear one of these days I am just  
  
going to announce to the whole world that I am 15 and having a baby  
  
with a man who no longer wants anything to do with me. That just  
  
might kill her and dad. It makes me fell sad sometimes that I did  
  
this to them. I'm their only child. I don't even think they have told  
  
Grandma Lorelai yet, I'm sure she'll hate me too!  
  
  
  
May 8, 1984  
  
  
  
I had another doctor's appointment today. They said that I'm healthy  
  
and right on schedule. They said the baby is a little small though. I  
  
hope the little tike is okay! I have my next appointment on June 6.  
  
  
  
May 22, 1984  
  
  
  
Chris called today. It was very shocking. This is the first time he  
  
has actually called me. Now he actually claims our little New Year's  
  
Eve surprise! I think he just want people to feel sorry for him.  
  
Whatever!!! He can think what he wants. I know this little guy or  
  
girl is his. I am honestly saying he was the only person I did  
  
anything with.  
  
  
  
June 6, 1984  
  
  
  
The doctor asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. I said  
  
no. But I still might want to find out as the weeks pass. I don't  
  
know. I might just find out at my next appt. July 16. How  
  
appropriate. My 16th birthday. Won't that be a good old time!!! The  
  
baby was surprise enough. I think I will find out if it is a little  
  
boy or a little girl. I think I want it to be a girl. Not being  
  
selfish or anything. I think I know more about little girls than I do  
  
little boys. I always wanted to have a little mother/daughter bond.  
  
Just not this soon in my life.  
  
  
  
June 22, 1984  
  
  
  
Today was fun! My mom had one of her DAR meetings here, so I had to  
  
hide in my room. I felt like going down there and announcing to the  
  
world that I am 5 months pregnant. But I also know my mom just might  
  
kick me out of the house if I had done that. So, I didn't.  
  
June 28, 1984  
  
  
  
It is mom's birthday today. Dad threw her a party. There were only a  
  
few friends there. I again had to be in my room, ALL DAY!!!! They  
  
keep asking where I am! Mom has to tell people sooner or later, or I  
  
will! This is all crap. I know she is ashamed, but they are going to  
  
find out eventually. I know she knows that this baby will eventually  
  
be born into our family, and people will find out, talk, and then  
  
they will get on with their lives. My being pregnant is not going to  
  
be the talk of Hartford forever. People will forget! 


	3. July-October 8th

July-October 8th  
  
July 4, 1984  
  
  
  
Chris came back today! He felt the baby kick for the first time. Even  
  
though I don't think it really occurred to him that the baby in my  
  
stomach is half his. I wanted him to stay until the 16, but his  
  
flight goes out on the 14. All I wanted from him was to know whether  
  
or not he is having a son or a daughter. That's all!!! All I wanted!  
  
I will just send him a card with the babies name, weight, length, and  
  
birthday. Then he'll realize that he was wrong and he wants to be  
  
with the baby and me. That will only be a dream. He won't ever come  
  
back, I just know it!  
  
  
  
July 16, 1984  
  
  
  
I went to the doctor's office today. They did an ultrasound, and to  
  
the best of his knowledge, he said it was a girl! I was so thrilled.  
  
I think I will call her Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. None of that Hayden  
  
stuff. He hasn't been her, so she won't have his name! I am so  
  
thrilled that it is a girl!!! Like I haven't mentioned that!!!  
  
  
  
August 12, 1984  
  
  
  
Today is my father's birthday. Again they had a party. I actually got  
  
to attend this one because I told my friend Angie to tell her  
  
parents. They are the biggest gossipers in Hartford, and they got it  
  
around. Now everyone knows! My parents just think that the story  
  
finally got around. Secretly, I think that is what she wanted! My dad  
  
has come to accept my pregnancy. My mom just wants it all to go away.  
  
Well, it will soon. The baby is due in less than two months, I am sure  
  
I can find a place between now and then. She'll take the baby and  
  
want to look like a hero while I finish high school. I think I'll  
  
just go straight for the job thing. I don't need their filthy money!  
  
  
  
August 25, 1984  
  
  
  
I went to this dinky little town south of Hartford. I think the name  
  
of the town was Stars Hollow or something cutesy like that! After the  
  
baby is a month old or a little less I will move us to this town and  
  
find a job. I can't stand to be with my parents. Not with them  
  
standing over me the entire time saying that I would not have messed  
  
up my life if I hadn't met Chris. If I hadn't I still probably would  
  
have moved out. I can't breathe in that house.  
  
  
  
September 9, 1984  
  
  
  
I can feel the little one moving around inside me. I hope she looks  
  
like me. I don't want her to have any memory of Chris. Although I  
  
have a secret wish that he comes back to have a relationship with his  
  
daughter. I told my parents that after the baby is born I want to  
  
live on my own. She just stood at me with a blank stare, and told me  
  
that she didn't want me to take the little girl away from her.  
  
Whatever! She will be able to see her if she really wants to. It is  
  
now going to be my and baby Lorelai's life. I really have to have a  
  
nickname for this girl. I'll have to work on that.  
  
  
  
September 23, 1984  
  
  
  
This baby is due in less than a week. I am excited and nervous at the  
  
same time. I came up with a nickname for little Lorelai Leigh. I will  
  
call her Rory. That sounds really cute! I think I might apply at this  
  
little Inn in Stars Hollow. It looks like a good place to start. I  
  
hope to find a house to. Or at least an apartment. I am going to look  
  
in two days, if Rory isn't born by that time. I almost want her to  
  
come a little early.  
  
  
  
September 25, 1984  
  
  
  
I found a little apartment outside of the Independence Inn. It's  
  
kinda cute. I think it will suit Rory and me. I really wish this  
  
little girl would come soon. I need to get out of the Gilmore house  
  
fast! At least I have the car they gave me for my 15th birthday.  
  
That'll help! It's a nice Trans Am. I'm surprised that they are  
  
letting me take it with me.  
  
  
  
October 7, 1984  
  
  
  
My labor started at about 2:00 pm today. I'm so excited because the  
  
baby is overdue by over a week. She is going to be fashionably late  
  
exactly like her mother. I am going to go have my baby now. I will  
  
write in my journal with all of the information about her.  
  
  
  
October 8, 1984 (6:15 am)  
  
Finally, after 14 hours of labor, my daughter was born at 4:03 am.  
  
Lorelai Leigh Gilmore weighed 6lbs. 6oz. and was 18 ½ inches long. I  
  
love her so much. She looks exactly like Christopher. I am going to  
  
call him later this morning, even though he is probably in school. My  
  
mom actually stayed until Rory was born, and actually cried when she  
  
saw her. I think my mom fell in love with a new person. I know deep  
  
down inside she wanted this baby for herself about 10 years ago. They  
  
never did have another baby. We'll have to see what happens. They let  
  
me out of the hospital on the 11th. Sometime in the morning. I am  
  
going to stay at home with my parents for a couple of weeks. So,  
  
we'll see how this goes. To make it all so much better, she was born  
  
on Chris's 17th birthday. Every year I will be reminded of the day  
  
Rory was born, her father's birthday. 


	4. October 11th-December

October 11th-December  
  
  
  
October 11, 1984  
  
  
  
I brought Rory home today. She is such a great baby. I am so in love  
  
with this little life. I can't explain it at all. We are leaving this  
  
house on November 8. Rory will be a month old by then. I know where I  
  
want to go. They weighed Rory before she came home. She weighed in at  
  
6lbs. 8oz. when we left the hospital. I have a crib in by room for  
  
her. I basically dropped out of school. I figured I had to get a job  
  
and pay for this little bundle of joy. I called Chris last night. I  
  
told him about Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. He said that he was happy it  
  
was a girl. He said he knew all along it was going to be a girl. I  
  
told him to call her Rory though. I want her to get used to that name.  
  
  
  
November 8, 1984  
  
  
  
We are moving out today. My mom was very upset that I was taking Rory  
  
away from her for an unknown world. I knew this would better for both  
  
of us. A new start! Rory is so cute; she still looks a lot like Chris  
  
does.  
  
  
  
November 13, 1984  
  
  
  
Today, I walked into the Independence Inn and asked for any job they  
  
could offer me. They said that they would pay me minimum wage and I  
  
could live in the little tool shed that one of the old employees  
  
fixed up for extra cash. At least it's a start. I called Emily today  
  
and gave her my new address at the Inn. She was going to have my  
  
stuff sent to there for me.  
  
  
  
November 22, 1984  
  
  
  
My stuff arrived today. Emily also sent a suitcase full of baby  
  
clothes for Rory. They were all so cute. She wrote a note that said  
  
if she wanted to send Rory back to them that I could. Whatever! She's  
  
my daughter, I will raise her. I would never consider letting her  
  
grow up the way I did.  
  
December 2, 1984  
  
  
  
Daddy came to give me some more clothes for Rory. Like toddler  
  
clothes and winter clothes. He held Rory for like an hour or so. I  
  
knew it was hurting him that I was doing this, but it was for the  
  
best. He invited me to come to the big Gilmore Christmas celebration.  
  
But I said no. I had to be on my own now.  
  
  
  
December 24, 1984  
  
  
  
It feels so weird not being with my family today for some reason. Emily called and wanted to know how Rory was doing. I told her she was fine. Emily said that she would be bringing a small Christmas gift for Rory. I told them to keep their gift, that I could provide things for my daughter. She was upset, but I think that she understood. I don't know why, she doesn't understand anything else that I do in my life.  
  
  
  
December 31, 1984  
  
Mia is such a nice lady. She promoted me to head maid of all. Wow. I haven't even been there that long. She is a lot more understanding than Emily is or was for that matter. She just adores Rory so much. 


	5. January-April (1985)

January 10, 1985  
  
I met a great new guy today. His name is Luke Danes. He is a senior at Stars Hollow High. His dad runs Williams' Hardware Store. I'd like to call him my new friend. He seems like my kind of friend. I met this other really nice lady who is helping me take care of Rory. Her name is Patty LaCasa. I also met the Dells. Babette and Morey. I think they will also be good friends of mine. Chris came to town today. He wanted to see Rory. She smiled as soon as Christopher walked in the door. It was like she had known that he was her dad before she even saw him. We took Rory for a walk and I showed him where I worked. He was very proud of me. He knew that his baby girl was being taken care of. I think that he left with that feeling.  
  
  
  
January 23, 1985  
  
  
  
There was a blizzard today. Rory and I were stuck in the house all day with nothing to do. Since it was a Sunday, nothing was open, so we couldn't order out. I went for the old Macaroni and Cheese deal. I seemed to be eating a lot of that lately. Doose's always has a sale on Mac 'n Cheese. It's probably a good thing I like it. I can't believe it was a year ago that I found out that I was pregnant. It seemed like just yesterday. Rory is sleeping now. I think that I am going to go to bed. Tomorrow is Monday, and Mondays are the busiest at the Inn. People were checking out from their weekend stay. So I'm sure that I won't be bored tomorrow.  
  
  
  
February 8, 1985  
  
  
  
Rory is four months old today. She is so big. I took her to the doctor yesterday afternoon to have a check-up. She weighs a healthy 16lbs. 6 oz. She has gained exactly 10 lbs. The doctor said that that was very well for as small as Rory was when she was born. She is starting to show signs of being really smart. She can nearly crawl. I am so proud of her. She has no idea that the world she is living in is not right. For all she knows I am her big sister and that I am just taking care of her for my mom. God knows that would never happen.  
  
  
  
February 18, 1985  
  
  
  
I met another new friend today. Her name is Sookie St. James. She is a sophomore at Stars Hollow High. I let her hold Rory today. She thought Rory was amazing. She had told me what a great job I had been doing with her. I knew that someone who could tell me this was definitely going to be my best friend. All of my other friends from Hartford had ditched me when I became pregnant. It was nice to know that I now had someone to talk to besides a four and a half month old. This would be nice.  
  
  
  
February 28, 1985  
  
  
  
Emily called today. She had to check-up on her precious granddaughter. Of course she didn't care one bit about me. I think that dad misses me a lot more than Emily does. The only thing that she misses is Rory. But that's ok. I shouldn't care. Should I? Oh well. I guess she's just going to be Emily Gilmore whether I care or not.  
  
  
  
March, 5, 1985  
  
  
  
Rory is doing very well. I started her at the local daycare. It was getting to be too much for Ms. Patty to handle. The only girl there Rory's age was a little three month old. I think the lady said that her name was Lane Kim. Her parents run Kim's Antiques. I need to go there. I haven't been in there ever. Today was a busy day. We had a whole new group of clients come in and stay. They took up half of the inn. I was so busy that I didn't get to take a lunch break. I think I'm going to quit writing now. I'm starving. I might go over to Al's Pancake World. It sounds like something new and different.  
  
  
  
March 22, 1985  
  
  
  
I think that I heard Rory mutter "mama" today. I almost cried. She is such a sweet baby. I wouldn't ask for anything better. She is amazing. This Luke Danes guy keeps coming over to flirt with me. He's always trying to fix things around here. I never pay him. He knows I can't. Oh well, free fixings for me I guess.  
  
  
  
April 2, 1985  
  
  
  
Christopher called today. All he asked was "How's the baby?" He didn't even address her by her name. I told him that his daughter's name was "Rory", not "baby". I think he just does it because he knows it makes me really mad. Oh well. He's a guy. He doesn't know any better. He also needs to come around and see Rory more often. I want him to see her, but I can hardly stand to be in the same room with him for very long.  
  
  
  
April 11, 1985  
  
  
  
Rory is now six months old. She is so much fun to be around. Dad came to town today. He tried to give me some money, but I refused. I need to make my own money. He needs to realize that. I think that it was just mom who sent him. He knows that I can make my own money. I have a good job. The only thing they care about is Rory. They still want to take her to live with them. They know that will never happen. I can take care of my own daughter. She is my responsibility.  
  
  
  
April 25, 1985  
  
  
  
Mia promoted me to head of the desk today. I get to answer the phones and do things like that. Mia is like a mother to me. I love hanging out with her. We talk about a lot of things that my mother and I could never talk about. It feels nice to have someone like that. I finally bought a coffee maker today. I was so happy. There hasn't been any coffee in my system for the longest time, it felt nice to finally have my own cup of coffee. 


End file.
